Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
>Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
>Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American
>shows on a Japanese TV.
>
>And the most British thing of all?
>
>Suspicion of anything foreign.
>
>Oh and...... Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster
>than an ambulance.
>
>Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
to
>the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people
can
>buy cigarettes at the front.
>
>Only in Britain ... do people
>order double cheeseburgers, large fries
>and a DIET coke.
>
>Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
to
>the counters.
>
>Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
>drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
>
>Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and
>then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
want
>to talk to in the first place.
>
>Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a
>skating rink.
>
>NOT TO MENTION...
>3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
>142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
shirts.
>58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
>screwdrivers.
>31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
the
>fairy lights were plugged in.
>19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing
>that Christmas
>decorations were chocolate.
>British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker
pulling
>accidents.
>101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out
of
>the soles of their feet.
>18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
>cigarette in their mouth.
>A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
>opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
>5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control
>Scalextric cars.
>
>and finally.........
>In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
>toilet.