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Don't read if easily offended

This is a discussion on Don't read if easily offended within the Jokes forums, part of the The Lounge category; After having a nice 69 with his girlfriend, Brian suddenly remembered he had a dental appointment. Afraid the dentist would ...


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Old 09-09-2009, 09:09 AM
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Miss Bookay.. Miss Bookay.. is offline
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to warm you up after your skiing deliveries lol - rainbow wishing u a fantastic valentines day - mamamia to help you head feel better xxx - candylottie Thks for being a friend - mamamia Happy Birthday for Wednesday - mamamia not red, but something to write the arseholes names in! x - Mardy thank you so much :) - Apple for punters pushin' his luck xx - HONEYBEE 
enjoy on xmas day - harlequin Happy Christmas & have a great 2010 x - HONEYBEE Next week u r going to rock, and need this bottle at the end - mamamia i am going to get thru this thanks to u xxxx - mamamia Go on its christmas and calories dont count..xx - ladymoll dont get drunk! merry xmas x - Joe Flo Hapy Christmas and a very busy till ringing New Year to you. xxx - FruitCake Have a lovely Christmas.  lots of love Pidge - Pidge 
thank you! have a good xmas! - pussy lover Hope you have a fab day tomorrow fingers crossed for you x - Mustang Girl happy xmas x x x - zoe@direct2florist.com Happy new year - fabs couldn't give you rep but giving you a gift instead!!! Pidge xx - Pidge Happy Easter.  Love Pidge xx - Pidge Have with brandy for maximum effect xxx - ossirus Have a fab birthday x - Mustang Girl 
Happy Birthday..how many candles...OMG, that many!!! x - Madam Mardy Hope you have a fabby Big One xxx - floralpride Well said. Pidge xx - Pidge 
Talking Don't read if easily offended

After having a nice 69 with his girlfriend, Brian suddenly remembered he had a dental appointment. Afraid the dentist would smell his girlfriend!!!! on his breath he brushed his teeth. He then flossed and gargled with a bottle of Listerine. On arrival at the dentist he ate a whole packet of extra strong mints.
By the time the dentist called him in to the room he was feeling extremely confident that he had covered his tracks and nobody would ever know. Opening his mouth wide his dentist said " Did you indulge in a 69 before you arrived here"
Mortified Brian asked "How the hell do you know that.. Can you smell my girlfriend on my breath"..

"No" said the dentist "But the skidmark on your forehead gives it away"
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Old 09-09-2009, 09:17 AM
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cos you had a bad week..hope ur back feels better xx - ladymoll for being such a good monkey rofl - pussy lover :) xxx - TartanTot put ya lippy on hun xx dont let the swines get ya down x - Joe Flo open tonight u deserve it xxxx - HONEYBEE Happy Easter hun xxx - snowdrop Happy Good Friday :) X - Kissitt Happy Easter xx - floralpride 
Happy Easter xx - pinklily happy easter x - HONEYBEE Aw funks have one of mine - pixieone for ya snotty nose xxxxxx - pinklily special design sculpture mwhahahha - Joe Flo ffs last one should av been a book lol - Joe Flo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ((hugs)) - Joe Flo thankyou so much x - Joe Flo 
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Old 09-09-2009, 09:22 AM
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Old 09-09-2009, 09:23 AM
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Old 09-09-2009, 09:32 AM
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thanks for that. v v v funny
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Old 09-09-2009, 09:34 AM
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think you deserve a large one after your call xx - HONEYBEE for being the brave one ~ well done ~ be proud of yourself ~ as are all of us ~ xxxxxxxxx - pinklily for making me smile when you have shite of your own going on ~ Thank You from the bottom of my heart ~  truely your a friend xxxxxx - pinklily s for supermum xx - ladymoll for Hannibal....get well soon...x - Mardy To Hannibal, get well soon, love from Bing, Bong,Rooney and Jack....Meiow!! xx - dizzydaisy xxx - funky monkey congrats on the new shop! x - bloomsflorist 
to share with Sorcha xx - floralpride new lippy for xmas xx - Joe Flo have a beer for he new yearon us xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx - jumark Cant drink alone mate. xxxxxx - dizzydaisy Happy Birthday ..how many candles...lol...x - Mardy happy birthday xx - funky monkey Happy Birthday - pixieone For my birthday twin xx - catkins 
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Old 09-09-2009, 10:03 AM
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Old 09-09-2009, 10:29 AM
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Old 09-09-2009, 10:48 AM
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Merry xmas wishing u and yours love, joy peace and happiness xxx - mamamia Do not open until Dec 25th..Merry Christmas xx - ladymoll Have a fab dabby one. . xxx - Miss Bookay.. Merry Christmas and a brill 2010 xx - floralpride Happy Xmas x x x - zoe@direct2florist.com Congrats on the job - Rocky Racoon So pleased for you xxx - floralpride Happy Belated birthday - pixieone 
Brill!
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What's that you're saying? I can't hear you properly with your head so far up your arse...
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Old 09-09-2009, 12:24 PM
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so the fountain dont wet ya !!well done chuck!! - Joe Flo Especially for you on FN gift giving day x - Treen To make up for making you cry! :) xxx - Amanda's cheers xx - Joe Flo Happy New Year - alipot HAPPY NEW YEAR XXXX - pinklily For the tube of Frog clips ~ ThankYou xxxxxx - pinklily Because it sounds like u just found some in that bank :) - FBA 
thanks x - Joe Flo i made it especially to sell in your new shop lol - Joe Flo hot doughnuts from filey x - Joe Flo to make your shit day better.....sorry!! x - Mardy For helping this last year Thanx xxxx - pinklily cristmas prezzie dont drink it all at once lol x - Joe Flo enjoy on xmas day - harlequin Meeeeeeeeeeeeeerrry xmas hope its a god one - mamamia 
Merry Christmas and a prosperous  2010 xx - floralpride you might need it....pmsl....x - Mardy You're a star too...thank you :O) - Dixon Cox here's yer prize xxxx - snowdrop happy easter x - HONEYBEE 
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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