Florist News

Sex in the Dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.


Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild,
screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked Down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure Device... a vibrator!

Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. "You impotent
b'stard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and
says Calmly:
"I'll explain the toy . . . You explain the kids."

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that
would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the FATHER.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in
favour of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that
even 10% was probably more pain that the father had ever experienced
before. But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked
the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband
will still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husbands' blood
pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point they decided to try for 50%.The husband continued to feel
quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife
considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain
to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her
Husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the milkman was dead on the porch.

It takes 24 hours to reach 24 million people.
Don't ever put your sunbathing snaps in an email!!!!

Happy chappie

Why don't Irish women use vibrators?

Did you hear about the Irish helicopter crash?
The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.

Because our men are very fit

Where is cleanliness next to godliness?
In the Irish dictionary.

cos they chip their teeth

How do you sink an Irish submarine?
Knock on the hatch.