Joke Thread!!!!!

[mr tumnus]

Surely it's better to have an area for all these jokes?! Don't get me wrong I'm having a giggle...but can I persuade you to post in here...at least then they are all in one place!

[mr tumnus]

Guess I had better post a quick joke to start things off...


A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".

Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fall off.

[rosemary]

:

[Apple]

[Rocky Racoon]

We do have a joke thread somewhere, perhaps we should revive that. Think it's called another naughty one, will go and have a look.

[kp.florist]

[forgetmenot]

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the
street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to
see her boyfriend buying flowers.

She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me
flowers again."

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What's the
big deal, don't you like getting flowers?"

The red head says, "Oh sure, but he always has expectations
after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending
the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."

The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"

[mr tumnus]

I wonder if the flowers were only going to last 3 days could they have been from the local petrol station instead!

She'd be in real trouble if the flowers were from a pro florist lasting upto 10days!!!

[forgetmenot]

what if they where silk

[snowdrop]

Hey Chris smart move if this is now the joke thread and everyone posts their jokes here you will certainly boost your bank balance